Do Your Kids Trust You?

Late in the day, I received a text about my on-line purchase.  I had been tracking it since early morning.  I had gone out to my front porch several times and even out to the mailbox  in anticipation of its arrival.   The tracking service had even said it had arrived in the vicinity and would be delivered today. As I looked at the latest text it read:

Undelivered – no one available to sign.  Notice left on door.  Will try again Monday.

Wait!  How can that be?  I’ve been here all day.  Not only that–but I don’t need to sign for it.

Quickly I ran to the front door to retrieve the notice.  Nothing there.

Disappointed and frustrated that the post office was closed, I stewed until early the next morning.  I needed that package before Monday.

As Saturday dawned, I was the first in line as the doors opened.

Upon asking the employee at the counter for the package and explaining my situation she responded, “Oh, we have to enter that information into the tracking system, otherwise our contract says we don’t get paid.  We aren’t going to deliver packages after hours.  I’m sure it will be on today’s truck.  If not, you’ll receive it Monday.”

And with that, I was forced to stew a little longer until hopefully the package arrived before I left town Monday morning.  So much for my two-day shipping guarantee.

Unfortunately in today’s society, the truth does not always breed trust.

What would not have been acceptable when we were kids is becoming the norm for this generation.

Truth has become relative–just like at the post office.  It is okay to enter false information into the tracking system to keep my job.  It is important to lie “collectively” to meet our contract demands so the company gets paid. Do I trust the post office now when I look at tracking information?  I don’t think so.

Truth is critical when it comes to trust and trust is the basis for every great relationship.

Did you catch that?  I feel like I need to say it again.

Truth is critical when it comes to trust and trust is the basis for every great relationship.

Truth is a statement of fact while trust is something that is gained over the course of time.  If we want great relationships with our kids, we need to not only be truthful in our interactions with them, but we need to be consistent over time.

My husband has a saying that he uses often with our kids:

“Say what you mean, mean what you say, and keep your commitments.”

I love it!  In reality, that is the very basis for truth.  It leads to trust.

Scripture says it a little differently:

Matthew 5:37

But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

Think about that.  Anything that is not truth or consistent is not from God.

What better way for Satan to impact our lives or families than by messing with our relationship with our kids.

As I searched for synonyms for trust, I came up with these:  reliable, truth, confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence.

Oh, my.  I feel like I’m standing on holy ground as I read this list.  Do I measure up as a parent?  Am I trustworthy in the full sense of the word?

  • Am I always reliable when I tell my kids that I will do something for them or do they have to come back and ask a second time?
  • Am I willing to speak truth, even when it’s hard?
  • Do my kids have confidence that I will really listen to their frustrations and concerns so they will confide in me?
  • Is their belief in me one that I will always be there for them no matter how difficult the situation?
  • Do they have faith in who I am as a person–as their mother–and does it attract them to faith in Jesus Christ?
  • Do they have certainty that my ‘yes’ means ‘yes’ and my ‘no’ ‘no’, or do I invite them to whine to get their way because I’m inconsistent?
  • Do they have assurance that I love them through my respectful responses?
  • Do I display a conviction that truth and trust are important and am I willing to apologize when I mess up?
  • Do they give credence to the words that come out of my mouth because they know my desire is to speak truth in love?

I have to stop as tears are starting to well up.  How many times I have failed.  How many times I have fallen short of the mark to which I have been called.

Unlike meeting contract demands at the post office, God has entrusted me with these kids with eternity in mind.  Oh, I want Him to say “well done my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)  I want my children to “rise up and call me blessed.” (Proverbs 31:28)

While I realize that during the tween and teen years the Proverbs verse probably isn’t even on their radar screen; however,  if I can build trust in my relationship with them now, maybe someday they will believe it to be true.

I recently saw a picture of a broken mirror that said “trust is like a mirror, once it is broken it is never the same.”

While most of us would agree with that statement at first glance, I might beg to differ.  But that’s a topic for my next post.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

How do you build trust with your kids? 

Do you agree with the statement “trust is like a mirror, once it is broken it is never the same”?

“Let go…and let God,”

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply