Are You Cultivating the Relationship?

The phone had been silent for several days and Shannon began to worry. Silence usually meant something was going on that her daughter didn’t want her to know about. Silence meant whatever was happening was something that her daughter knew she wouldn’t approve of. Silence meant this chasm would widen, the earth would give way, and then it would all come tumbling out–every unbelievable detail.

Shannon had grown accustomed to the turbulence that accompanied these silent times; they rattled her very soul. Shannon prayed; she sought answers from Scripture; she had given her daughter back to God more times than she could remember. But here she was again, crying out to God for some sort of awakening to occur in her daughter’s life. “Speak to her, Lord,” she uttered once again.

Shannon was learning that she was the one who needed to stay connected to her daughter. Amber needed a steady force in her life. Without Shannon reaching out in Amber’s own mode of communication “texting” or “Facebook – IM”, the telephone lines would continue to remain silent. “Checking in to see how you are doing,” she pounded out on the mini touchscreen. “Just wanted you to know that you are loved.”

“Love you too, Mom” came quickly back on the screen.

“You doing ok?” Shannon responded.

“I guess.” Amber replied. “Call you when I get off work.”

Shannon prayed throughout the day. She prayed for Amber. She prayed for whatever Amber would share with her this evening. She prayed that her responses would always come across as loving.

But silence continued throughout the evening. No call from Amber. Shannon continued to pray for her daughter. She’d try to reconnect again in a few days.

Three days later she sent a text to Amber just to see how she was doing.

The phone rang. “Hi, Mom. Sorry I didn’t call you back the other evening.”

“Honey, that’s okay. I know you’re busy. How’s work going?”

“Fine. How’s Harold doing?”

“He left, Mom.”

“What do you mean, he left”?

“Mom, he moved out.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. How are you feeling about that?”

“I’m so upset–yet part of me is glad he is gone. At least I know what kind of man he really is.”

“What made him decide to leave? You two were starting to talk about marriage.”

“Mom, I guess you’ll find out soon enough anyway. I’m pregnant.”

Shannon took a deep breath. She knew her next words were critical. She could either bring life into her daughter or create an avalanche of destructive feelings into their conversation.

“Honey, I’m not sure how to respond. I’m in shock. I’m going to be a grandmother. How are you feeling about it?”

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.

Sometimes our 20-Somethings make choices that we not only disagree with, but they make choices that will impact our lives in ways we would rather not deal with. Even though it would be easier to write them off saying that they can deal with their own issues (they know our phone number), we need to show them the love of Christ and initiate relationship. Words that come out of our mouths can either incite further anger and rejection or bring healing. We may not always be elated by the news they share, but it is important that we respond with the love of Christ.

Proverbs 16:24

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Dare you to connect with your 20-Something today by speaking words of tenderness to them. Why not send them a text?

“Let go…and let God,”





The Power of the Word “You”

Sitting in a workshop several weeks ago with a group of women I witnessed the power in the word “you”.  There were tears in women’s eyes as they heard words of affirmation spoken over them after they shared a story or A-Ha! 

“You were brave to step into that situation in the moment.”

“You showed such a gentle spirit with your sister.”

“You used such good judgment in a difficult situation.”

“You demonstrated what it means to be supportive and caring in what must have been an exhausting time.”

All of us felt as if we were receiving a hug knowing that others were noticing the good in who we are.

And I thought about the power and life that we could speak into our teens if we would choose to use it.   What if we would look for the good in our kids instead of using the word “you” in a condemning way. 

“You didn’t clean your room like I asked you too.”

“You didn’t …”

What if, instead, we chose to take those “didn’t dos” and turn the communication into a positive?

“You have been working hard on your homework.  Why don’t you take a break and run up and clean your room before dinner?”

“You are such an encourager with your little sister.  Maybe the two of you could go upstairs and put the laundry away together.”

If we as parents could just take a moment each day to affirm the good in our children, what might change in our homes?

Hmm…definitely something to think about.

But there is another aspect of the word “you”.  

I don’t know about your kids, but I’ve had my teens throw the word you at me in a screaming, blaming sort of way. 

“You embarrassed me in front of …”

“How dare you take away my …”

“How could you?”

And in the heat of the moment with fury in our teen’s eyes they dump their bucket of all the pain they think we have caused them.  With their emotion we can become overwhelmed and just want the onslaught to stop.  And as parents most of us make the same mistake.  It’s a mistake I’ve made on more than one occasion.

We look at our teen in disbelief that they can yield so much condemnation and say something in a stern voice like “Don’t you talk to me that way, young man.  Go to your room.”

And we get so caught up in the anger and how we were spoken to that we might be missing something valuable in our parenting.

One technique I’ve used in the middle of these situations is to pause in the moment.  “I can tell you are really upset and I want to hear you out.  I’m feeling upset myself right now and I don’t want our emotions to get in the way of our communication.  I’m going to take about 20 minutes to calm myself down and then we’ll talk.”

When frustration and the word “you” come rolling off our teen’s tongue, chances are there is pain in the middle of it.  

Yes, you heard me right.  Anger and the word “you” most likely means that someone is not listening to the pain that is inside of us. 

What I’ve been learning is that when someone accuses me of something, that is a cue that I need to allow the Holy Spirit to help me discern the truth from the other person’s perspective.  Here are some questions I ask myself during my 20 minute time out before talking with my teen:

  • Is there any truth to what my teen is accusing me of doing?
  • What pain might my teen be experiencing in the moment? 
  • What might my teen need from me to bring healing for the pain he is experiencing?  A confession?  An apology?  A change in my behavior?
  • What might God be trying to teach me in this situation?
  • What might God be trying to teach my teen?

Oh my, this can be a humbling conversation that I have with God.  As I pray and ask God to help me in the situation, many times I discover that there is some truth to what I’ve been accused of and God is using this situation to refine me.  Not a pleasant place to be but it allows me to engage with my teen on a whole different level.  It allows me to humbly admit where I was wrong.  Once I’ve done that, it allows us to talk about the situation in a non-confrontational manner.

And when I can’t see where I am wrong in what my teen is blaming me for, I can then ask questions for further understanding.  “Honey, thanks for giving me some space a moment ago.  I can tell you are really upset.  What happened today that made you so angry?”

And regardless of our teens response, regardless of the emotion, continue to ask God for discernment in the moment.  Ask your teen to identify his feelings and affirm him.  Share why you did what you did in terms of his maturity and why that is so important.  Let him know what it is that he needs to learn.  And then, if the timing is right, heap affirmation on him with you statements.  

“I know that my decision was really difficult for you.  You need to know that you are loved and your dad and I want  the best for you.  You feel passionately about justice and that’s a good thing.  I’m glad you shared with me what you were feeling.”

Proverbs 12:18

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Ephesians 4:29

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Dare you to take inventory of how the word “you” is used in your home.  Is it a sword or used for edification?

“Let go…and Let God”,

Are you thinking about Fall Bible Study yet?  Wish you could be in one but the time never seems quite right?

Or maybe you’d like to focus on your parenting?

Why not join a group of women in our With All Due Respect eCourse?  We meet on Facebook (it’s a closed group) at your convenience.  And we will go through the book together as we encourage each other, pray with each other, and support each other.  There is extra video teaching and an opportunity to ask questions.  We’ve even been known to take time time to chat on the phone with women in the class when parenting situations are really difficult and you could use someone to walk beside you.  

As a bonus this fall, if you sign up for the With All Due Respect eCourse, you can also be part of Greater Impact’s Strength & Dignity eCourse for free. There you will find resources for respecting yourself in your defensive relationships and for help in your marriage.

We hope you will join us or do the study with a group of moms in the comfort of your home.  Whether your kids are 9 or 29, you’ll be amazed at what God will do in your home as you go through the book.





9 Steps to Take to Kick Your Kid Out of the House

This is a hard post to write.  As I sit here contemplating what to say to those of you who are at a place where you think it is time to kick your kid out because of behavior issues, I hope you’ll read last week’s blog before this one.  My prayer is that if there are any other options that you will take those first before pulling the trigger.  Actions can have major fallout for decades to come and while the Now you are in seems overwhelming, the silence down the road can become a heavy burden to carry as well.

A decade ago, I was in a similar situation with one of my kids.  The defiance, disrespect, and “you can’t tell me what to do” were stretching my husband and me to a breaking point.  We had allowed things to go on for too long and were truly at a point of losing perspective.  This teen’s actions were affecting the entire family in a way that I knew was unhealthy.  We were at our wits end.  What should we put up with and where was the line for letting natural consequences play out?  

Regardless of your child’s age, as I know many of you have adult children living under your roof, the principles are the same.  Helping them move forward into maturity is the goal while attempting to maintain the relationship.

Thankfully, a wise therapist/psychiatrist helped us discern the best course of action and spent many hours making sure my husband and I were speaking the same language to our teen.  He knew that we had to be fully on the same page to move our family forward.

As my husband and I met with the therapist weekly, he coached us through the process of working through our own differing opinions on parenting issues.  Meanwhile, he was working with our teen to determine possible scenarios to change behavior.  About six months into these separate sessions, I remember his word’s vividly.  “You can’t allow this to continue in your home.  I have real concerns for your other children.  I think it is time to put a plan in place.  The choice is hers.  She either adheres to your boundary or she chooses to leave.”

Notice I didn’t say we kicked her out.

She chose to leave.

And that is the difference in future potential for the relationship.  When we empower our children to “choose” their destiny, we aren’t foisting our desires, feelings, and anger on them.  We are drawing a line in the sand  and letting them make the choice on which side they want to land.

So what are the steps we took and what makes it their choice?

  1. Determine what has to change.  This doesn’t mean everything that is going wrong.  What are the non-negotiable behaviors that are negatively impacting the family? 
  2. Make sure the behaviors that need to change are measurable.  You will want to be able to cite instances of both positive and destructive behaviors on a weekly basis, so take good notes.
  3. Determine the date that the teen will need to move out if things don’t change.  Our counselor was insistent that we not stretch things out too long.  The date was set with the intent of allowing our teen time to decide whether they were going to follow our rules, find a place to live if they chose to move out, and to make sure they had a plan in place for adequate financial stability.  In our situation we allowed 2 1/2 months.
  4. Write down the plan before meeting with the teen.  Writing things down help both parents determine specifics and makes sure that both are on the same page.  There needs to be no question about each step along the way and the behaviors that need to change.
  5. Have the conversation.  Remember, once you are here, there is no turning back.  You need to make sure you are strong enough to follow through.  With our teen the conversation went something like this.  “Honey, we love you and we want so much for you to be part of this family.  We’ve had a lot of friction about ____, ____, and ____.  You are making choices that are impacting our family in a negative way and we can no longer live this way.  Your mom/dad and I have decided that you can either change your behavior or choose to move out.  Know that whatever you choose, we will always love you.  Please understand that this is really difficult for us, but in life there will always be rules and people that have authority over you (like a boss).  We hope that you will choose to work on the things we’ve outlined that need to change.  (Read the list you’ve compiled and be willing to talk through specifics.  If they want to negotiate a point, let the teen know that you and mom/dad will talk about it and get back to them). Please know that if you choose to move out you’ll need to find a place to live and figure out how you are going to survive without our financing.  You will be responsible for you.  We will be more than willing to help you find affordable housing or teach you about budgeting or anything else you need to make it happen.  If you choose to move out, ______ is the date.  We would like to sit down with you weekly/every other week, to see where you are at so there is no question as to how we think you are doing regarding the rules we’ll be monitoring.  Again, we do love you and hope you’ll do everything in your power to make this work so that you can continue to live here.”
  6. Continue to stay in relationship.  Be kind, loving, and encouraging when/if you see positive behaviors.  Remember the goal is to build the relationship and not have them move out if they are still a teen.  If you are dealing with an adult child your goal is to pave a way to give them encouragement to leave.
  7. Be sure to check in regularly during this time.  Your goal should be to help them succeed regardless of their decision.  Feedback on their behavior is paramount.  This is where your note taking and measurable goals will be discussed. And if they choose to leave, a goal should be to let them go without hard feelings.
  8. If their behavior changes, celebrate.  If it doesn’t, remind them that their continued behavior means they are choosing to leave.
  9. When the day arrives for those who choose to leave, carry their things down the stairs, tell them you love them, hug them, and fall apart after they walk out the door.

So how did it go for us?

Our child chose to leave.  And it was one of the most difficult things I have ever endured. 

This teen continued to make poor choices; however, we stayed in relationship.  Two days after she moved out she showed up and asked her dad to test drive a new car she was planning to purchase.  He graciously did and even went with her to sign the papers.  We didn’t co-sign the loan, but we were there for her.  Several weeks later I called and offered to take her to lunch–no lecture, just a “how are you doing” conversation letting her know that we respected her decision and still loved her dearly.

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve coached several parents through this same process.  It isn’t easy to endure, but I know for me, I was so glad I had an outside perspective as I walked through it.  

My prayer is that regardless of what you are dealing with in your difficult situation, that you will not kick your kid out with anger and hard feelings.  Sometimes we have to let go and let God do His work in our children’s lives.  Our goal is to set the stage for easier forgiveness and restoration.

Isaiah 43:1-2

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.


“Let go…and Let God”,







5 Things to Consider in Modeling Healthy Relationships for Our Kids

Most all of us have struggled at one time or another with a relationship.  A best friend who takes advantage of us, a parent who always has to have the final say, a boss who uses his positional authority in a negative way, can leave us unsure of what to do next.  Depending on whether we are wound to actively engage in the struggle or retreat to the sidelines determines the lens with which we most likely will teach our kids about how relationships work.  Our advice and counsel will be based on our own experiences.  Did we get the result we wanted with the action we took?

Take, for example, the notorious bully on the playground.  When Jeffrey comes home upset about an incident that happened at school, we as parents respond to Jeffrey’s emotions typically in one of two ways: 1) “You need to learn to stand up for yourself.”  And we’re ready to sign Jeff up for Taekwondo or boxing and we’ll consider marching Jeffrey over to the bully’s house to talk to the bully’s parents.  OR  2) “You need to stay away from that kid.” And we’re ready to call the teacher to intervene if need be.  We might even go as far as telling all the moms we know about what is happening so that Jeffrey is protected.

I’m not going to debate which way is right or wrong because there are too many variables in the average bullying scenario to even sort through the best response in a given situation.  However, it is important to realize that these are two extremes on the same relationship scale.  Depending on how we respond, we’re either teaching our kid to engage or retreat.

There is another scenario that we typically don’t see and that is the power of influence in the muck of relationships.  It is finding ways to communicate such that the other person can hear.  Things like respect, empathy, validation, and reminding the other person that we belong on the same team can go a long way.  However, another piece of influence if we aren’t getting the result we need is to be willing to create boundaries and utilize our right to instill consequences if the other person is causing us physical or emotional harm.

We know that kids tend to embrace what is “caught not taught”.  And so my question to us as parents is what are we modeling with our relationships?

I was talking to a woman last week about a difficult parenting situation she was struggling with and how it was being handled.  The longer we talked I began to ask questions about how she was responding to the dilemma versus her husband’s response. It was obvious they weren’t even close to being on the same page.  Or were they?

I don’t think she even knows what her husband’s true thoughts or feeling are on the situation.

Here’s why.  What I discovered was that her husband appeared to have had an overbearing mother who still tries to control her now adult, married son with his own kids.  This dad is caught between responding to his mother’s thoughts on how to handle her grandchild and his wife’s desires on how they should handle the situation.  Based on this woman’s comments, this dad seems to be doing exactly what his dad did–retreat and hope it would all blow over.

How sad.

His lack of action will most likely not bring the best outcome for his child.

But more importantly for us as moms, could we be doing the very same thing to our kids?  Are we modeling control in such a way that we are impacting our kid’s relationships now and in the future?

What if in the same situation above a daughter had witnessed the relationship dynamic with her parents.  Would she learn that moms are to control and dad’s role is to retreat?

So what can we as moms do to model healthy relationships so that our kid’s don’t end up on one end or the other of the relationship scale?

  1. Take a self inventory.  Do you retreat?  Do you tend to engage in conflict?  If so, do you fight fair?  (Fighting fair means that we engage in conflict in a way that builds the relationship rather than taking an I’m right/you’re wrong position.)
  2. Do your kids see you operating in your relationships in healthy ways:  With your spouse?  With your parents?  With your in-laws?  With extended family?  What about the friends you interact with on a day-to-day basis?
  3. How do you know you are modeling healthy relationships?  What is your measurement?  In other words, is there always conflict?  Do friends stick around?  Do you stay engaged with the person when difficulty arises between you and another person?  Do you know when it is in your best interest to hold that person at arm’s length?
  4. Take a look at how you deal with your teen’s relationship struggles.  Do you counsel in a healthy way hoping to bring both people back together so they can remain friends?  Or do you always take your child’s side empathizing to the point that your child feels justified with their feelings and actions?  Do you help your child try to see both sides?  Do you encourage them to go pray about the situation and for the other person?
  5. Do you re-engage with your teen to see how things are going so you can coach them through the next phase of reconciliation or being able to walk away with dignity?

I’ll admit that this can be deep work for some of us.  When healthy relationships have not been modeled for us, we typically don’t even become aware of it until something happens where it really matters.  The potential loss of a job, or marriage, or the possibility that we will lose a child who chooses to walk away will bring any of us to a place of looking hard at ourselves and how we do relationship if we are willing to take ownership for our part.

Sometimes we forget that it takes two people to have relationship just like it takes two people to have conflict.  By taking inventory of ourselves, we’ll be able to make sure we are operating in a healthy way so that we can better model it for our kids.

Ephesians 4:2-3

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 
 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
2 Corinthians 5:17-18
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here! 
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:
Dare you to take inventory to see what you are modeling in your home.
“Let go…and Let God”,
Healthy relationships are so important, yet many of us don’t even know what they should look like.  All the training materials we create at Greater Impact lead women toward understanding what healthy relationships could look like if our eyes are focused on Jesus Christ. It’s skills based on brain-science and research along with what is taught in Scripture.  You will walk away with a whole new perspective of what it means to have relationship with Him, yourself, and others.
If you want to grow in your relationships, here’s what we offer: 
          For Moms: 
With All Due Respect: 40 Days to a More Fulfilling Relationship with Your Teens and Tweens
          For Wives:
 The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband Daughters of Sarah Participant Manual
           For All Women:


Grieving Our Children’s Choices

As I continue to grieve the loss of my daughter, I’m noticing that I’m choosing to slow life down a bit.  I’m assuming that part of it is that others are giving me space and they understand on some level the complexity of the emotional turmoil that I’m in at the moment. When I feel overwhelmed, or sad, or anxious, or find tears welling up within me, I find myself analyzing the feeling to better understand what is going on deep inside.  I find that my capacity to deal with extraneous frustrations is limited so I selectively pick my next steps knowing what I can handle.

Thinking about the grieving process makes me wonder if we wouldn’t be better served as parents to do the same thing.  After all, not many kids turn out exactly the way we think they should.

What I’ve come to realize is that there are a lot of moms who need to grieve.  Moms who need to grieve what they thought they could have with their kids.

Many have kids that are disrespectful, kids that are making wrong choices, kids who choose not to listen to reason, and kids who are in jail or doing drugs or having sex or — whatever is on your list.  But whatever the expectation in which your child is falling short, as a parent you need to grieve it and move forward in your parenting.

Grief is a process of letting go — letting go of what we had hoped for and accepting what is true.  And I’ll admit that it is hard.

Too many times as parents rather than letting go we choose denial.  Somehow we think that we can fix whatever we think is broken with our child.  We nag, we coerce, we try to reason, and we get emotional.  Acceptance is sometimes a difficult but necessary path to walk if we want a relationship with our child that isn’t filled with a sense of distance fortified with impenetrable walls.

Acceptance doesn’t mean there isn’t pain for you as a parent, but it releases your child to choose their own path.

So how do you grieve the things you’ve hoped for with your child?  How can you turn your frustration into a relationship where you are willing to endure their choices and love them in spite of their actions?

  1. Share your situation with someone safe.  A dear friend, a counselor, or even someone who has walked a similar path with their kids can do wonders for lightening the burden you carry.  Just talking about it will lessen the hold the situation has over you.
  2. Express your feelings.  Sadness, guilt, despair, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, longing, anger, and frustration will overwhelm you at times.  Don’t be afraid to feel.  Let others know what you are experiencing at least in the sense of “I’m going through a tough time right now.” It will normalize the feeling.  I’m finding that when friends text me to check in, I let them know what I’m feeling in the moment and ask them to pray.
  3. Let the tears flow.  Crying helps you heal.  Whether it is with a friend, your spouse, or alone, tears will bring relief.
  4. Let others know your need.  Each of us deals with grief in different ways.  I am finding myself needing time alone and at other times I need to be with people.  I’ve asked friends to go to the store with me, meet me for coffee, and to check in by text.  When someone offers a meal, I accept.  I’m finding that grief zaps my energy, so I’m giving myself permission to accept help from others or decline if I can’t handle what they offer.
  5. Sleep, eat, and do as much of your normal routine as possible.  I’m finding that grief is such an emotional process that I have to be selective with what I can do.  Focus on the basics and do only one thing at a time–but do something.  Don’t totally disengage from the rest of the world.
  6. This is a time to be selfish.  This is something I learned from a very wise pastor.  Grieving needs to be on your terms not what others want to do for you.  The day after my daughters death, friends wanted to be with me, to hug me, to do things for me.  While I appreciated their desire to be there, what I needed was just the opposite.  I needed time to contemplate, rest, and just be with my family.  My desire in the moment was to be mom for my other kids.
  7. Spend time with God.  In the midst of my current circumstances sometimes I feel like my prayers are disjointed.  Sometimes I just ask Him to give my daughter a hug or I write in my journal letting God know that I accept that He is God in my current situation.  I’ve been reading about peace in the midst of difficulty.  Coming to grips with the fact that He is in control takes hard work.  Acceptance is part of the process.
  8. Grow through your experience.  God has given you this trial to bring about incredible transformation in you.  Through your loss of the ideal for your child, you will gain wisdom in learning to overcome and survive.  Once you reach this point you will be better able to love your child unconditionally in spite of their choices.

As I’m writing this, it has occurred to me that this is not the first time I’ve gone through the grieving process with my daughter.  She was that challenging child where I found myself grieving over and over again at various stages of her life.  At some point in my parenting, I chose not to try to change her any more.  The nagging, the coercion, and the getting emotional stopped.  I would still try to reason with her, but when she disagreed I said something like “it makes me sad that these are the choice you’ve decided to make; however, I love you and I accept that they are your choices.” Once I had grieved and accepted that I was not in control, I reached a point where I was able to truly love her unconditionally.  I accepted her for who she was and fully entrusted her to God.

As parents we sometimes need to let go of our expectations for our kids.  We need to grieve our idealistic hopes and dreams so that we can better love these kids that God has given us on loan.  After all, He created them and He has a plan for their lives.

Psalm 23:4

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  

Isaiah 40:31

“…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” 

Do we trust Him with His story?

Praying you can…

“Let go…and Let God”,

 Our Small Group Leader’s Guide for With All Due Respect is now available. Want to help moms develop a deeper relationship with God as they create more fulfilling relationships with their teens and tweens?  With All Due Respect was bathed in tears as God walked me through a powerful life-changing process that impacted my relationship with my daughter.  Because of what God taught me through parenting her, other moms can now grow closer to Him as they work through the devotional Dares from this book.  What is more, if you choose to do the book in a group you’ll have opportunity to develop deep connecting relationships with other women who are also on the parenting journey.  

Crazy Mom Moments?

2014-08-09 11.22.13If you are like me, you know what it is like to have those Crazy Mom Moments.  It’s when our kids make a statement that puts us in a moment of panic.  “Oh my, I have to fix his faulty thinking” is what quickly runs through our brains and all we can think to do at the moment is to challenge what our kid just said to us. Read more