Helping Our Kids Gain Perspective

Talking with a mom the other day, I smiled realizing that she needed a dose of perspective.  It was hard for her to understand the difficulty another mother was having in raising her kids.  “If only she would __________, her son wouldn’t act that way.  It’s her own fault.  As expected, this mom espoused the […]

Doing Life From the Platform of Respect

A number of years ago my husband taught a junior high boys small group.  One of the topics that would always come up was how to treat members of the opposite sex.  I remember one of his lines well: “Remember, you don’t know whose wife you are dating.  Treat your girlfriend the way you hope […]

Owning What Is Ours To Own

Relationship Triangles

Sitting in a counselor’s office as an early 30-something, I remember the psychologist introducing me to the conflict triangle.  It appeared that I had been part of one since childhood without even understanding how I was participating.  What I discovered was that when the two people in my life were in conflict, I was the emotional support for both […]

Building Family Relationships in the Middle of Conflict

Dare 40

A dear friend called me a few days ago asking for prayer.  Her husband and daughter were fighting again.  The previous night had been a standoff shouting match with words that should have never been spoken coming from their daughter’s mouth.  “Oh my,” I responded.  “How did you handle it?” “I quietly stepped in and […]

How Important Is It That My Teens Clean Their Room?

Whether or not to make a teen clean their room is a topic that almost always comes to the surface whenever I lead parenting groups.  There are usually parents in both camps–‘it’s not a hill worth dying on’ versus the ‘I can’t stand the mess’ moms. Do you just close the door and hope that […]

Are You a Reactive Parent?

Dare 29 - 5 Steps to Gaining Self-Control

Sitting on the deck reading while enjoying the warmth of the early summer sun, I barely noticed the activity at the pool nestled behind the evergreens.  Immersed in my book, I was suddenly blasted with a string of profanity being hurled from the pool area.  In a fit of anger, I watched a dad rant […]