The Respect Dare – Dare 19 – How Do I Respond? – For Parents of Tweens & Teens
Loraine was trying to fully grasp what was coming out of her son’s mouth. Even more so, she knew what she was feeling, but she didn’t know quite how to respond. She decided it was probably better to just listen; ask questions and listen.
“Mom, you remember Rae Jean Reynolds from my Sunday School class when I was in junior high? She was the girl that was new to the church and came for just a short time?”
“I remember her. She had long curly hair and gorgeous brown eyes if I remember right. I haven’t seen her for quite some time. Her mother and I see each other occasionally at the gym. I remember when you and Andrew both had a crush on!”
“Yeah, that’s the one. I really liked her, but she has changed. I just can’t believe what she’s doing!”
“What is that, honey?”
“Mom, she was with her ‘girlfriend’ at prom! It was disgusting!”
“Dillon, maybe she just thought it would be more fun to go with a friend rather than some guy that she doesn’t know very well. Be about jumping to conclusions.” Loraine warned.
“No, Mom. Rae Jean has come out and said she is a lesbian. I saw them kissing each other during the dance. They’ve got pictures posted of the two of them all over Facebook!”
“Oh, honey. That had to have been hard to watch. How did you handle it?”
“I just stayed away. It made me sick to watch. She was always such a cool person to be around, but I just don’t know how to interact with her anymore.”
“How were the other kids handling it?”
“She was getting a lot of heckling over it. I felt sorry for her.”
“Did you come to her rescue?”
“Of course not, Mom. That would have meant friend suicide! I just stayed away.”
“Have you thought about how you are going to handle things at school on Monday when you see her?”
“I’ll probably just ignore her. It’s going to be really hard though because she’s in my pre-calc homework pod. Maybe I’ll ask the teacher if I can change groups.”
“Dillon, you could certainly do that. But can I offer another suggestion?”
“Sure.”
“Maybe you need to be her friend.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! Mom, I can’t be seen with someone like her.”
“Does she have any other friends that are Christians?”
“Yes, but they are so done with her. We were all talking about it after prom. How could she do this? She was so cool.”
“Dillon, what do you think Jesus would do? Would he ridicule her, would he isolate himself from her, or would he try to be a friend to her so that maybe she can see what is right?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll be the laughing stock at school if I stand up for her. I don’t want to laugh at her, but what she is doing is wrong based on scripture!”
“Dillon, how will those that don’t follow Christ see His love if no one is willing to show love? Do you remember the woman in the Bible that was caught in adultery?”
John 8:1-11
1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
“I guess I get it. It’s just so hard.”
“You know, Dillon, you are right. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I’ll try to engage with Rae Jean’s mom next time I see her. I’ll let her know that I’m aware of what is going on. I’ll try to get her to share her feelings about the situation so that I will know better how to pray. I’ll be praying for you too, honey, praying that you’ll figure out how to best interact with Rae Jean.”
Parenting can be so difficult in today’s culture with all the things that go on that are called ‘sin’ in the Bible. What are we teaching our children when it comes to interacting in situations that clearly make us uncomfortable? Do we condemn or do we love? Do we teach our tweens and teens to love or do we teach them to ‘heap coals of fire’ on those that are committing the sin?
Dare you to interact with your tweens and teens in the difficult situations in life so that the love of Jesus shines.
“Let go…and let God,”
Hope you will join Nina Roesner as she provides insight on marriage and Leah Heffner as she blogs to wives with little people as we go through The Respect Dare together.
Debbie, this is a tough one. But since your son knows that a same-sex relationship is sinful, you gave him exactly the right answer. Do the right thing, even though it may cost you. If he catches that, then you will have really taught him well.